Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
