right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
