somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize