he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
