youre lurking in front of me
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
