operation harelip BJ is a go
and she was petting her beer can
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
