Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
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