Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Is her dick bigger than yours?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
