I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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