Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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