i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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