I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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