I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
