u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
