i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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