I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize