just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
