i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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