I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
