Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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