We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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