I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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