would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
