Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize