the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
His hands were made for my vagina.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
