ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
