I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
