yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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