Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I believe in your delicious
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
