It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
This is not my ceiling
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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