JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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