Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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