smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
