So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
This is my gift to your gina
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
