what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
