the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
