I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
What a dumb baby whore.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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