Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
