dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
