It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
