shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
