My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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