Can Purell be used as lube?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize