It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I touched a dick in church today
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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