just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
