just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
