can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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