New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize