Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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