I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
