I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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