i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
