Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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