Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
