Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize