if you like me you must not know who I am
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
