There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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