"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
