it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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