and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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