Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize