I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
