Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
