I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
