I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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