i think my mom watched the whole time
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
