none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
