she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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