theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
