So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
