Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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